You know... I have a lot of thoughts these past few days. A barrage of ideas and sentiments, some with profanity, nevertheless, still personally considered profound. An wide array of undeniably intelectual notions. Boundless sound cogitations. A swarm of conceivable reflections as by-product of day-to-day reveries... You know what I realized?

...I forgot them.

It's Dec 25!!! Merry Christmas Everyone!

Sorry if my greeting seem sudden as there weren't any prior blog regarding this Holiday season. Don't look at me.. I'm happy. I'm not waiting for christmas the way kids do. In reality, they are the most fortunate ones come the Holidays. I just remembered Barry Manilow singing...

"Tonight belongs to all the children
tonight their joy rings through the air
and so we send our tender blessings
to all the children everywhere
to see the smiles and hear the laughter
a time to give
a time to share."

Sometimes you would wish you were a child again. I guess I have learned how to get in touch with that side of me. It helps when you have problems aaaaaaand... it helps you enjoy christmas better.

I have a jampacked itenerary for today. Some even conflict. Either way, I know, I'll enjoy every minute of it.

Here's to you and your family. Happy Holidays from your resident blabbermouth. Muah!.

Let me tell you about this man that I had the distinct honor of growing up with. I'm the first grandson in our house so it's natural that we'd become close. He's about 8 -10 years older than I am. Yes, he's considerably mature. He was my model in everything I do when I was a kid. I will follow him to his basketball games just a few blocks from our house, carrying his now sweaty jersey and towel.
We had this trusty tricycle. Had, being the operative word. We named it SKYLAB. I dunno why it got named after the first US Space Station. Didn't bother to ask as well. I think it's just as old as I am, maybe older. We loved that tricycle. We use it for all our short travelling needs. HE used to drive it with me on his back. He was the designated runner and houseboy that time.
One of our constant chores is to get some rice peelings. We call them "APA" ing old kapampangan. (no they are not the ice cream cones, it has a different pronunciation) I always enjoyed that particular chore. I could play on it and watch it fall down from the mill. We get about 3 sackful of it and head home. (btw, its free)

You might be wondering where we use it. We use if for cooking. If you seen our old "stove", it might blow your mind. You'll have second thoughts if we can cook anything on it. We cook every meal on it. Even on fiestas. We call it "pugun". Some kapampangan and tagalog might have heard it. It comes really handy in the morning when we have leftover pandesal or any bread from yesterday. My grandmother, God bless her for she's so kind to me, she gets those leftover bread and place them around one of the stove holes while she heats water for coffee. She always does this everyday. Then she'll cook scrambled eggs with fried potatoes which is my perennial favorite. Sigh.. I miss my hometown...

Allow me to share some lines I wrote at my most recent dark time.

Stranded...

white paper, punched early sun
cold water's just not sound
brandy still lingers on my tounge
hush...

where is my pen!
my knuckles just cracked
A need to escape here
...liar.

I may have indigestion
a wheel strolls down my gut
walls are no refuge
pitiful...

thank you Ma'am, Thank you
The spices were tasteful
Have you found your fruit?
i feel cold...

I was the pole, crooked indeed
basket's torn to my aching wrist
make haste my love, I beg
stranded...

RECEDING

For what reason has a flower
if she was drought by the sun?
had we soon forgot
all that lives, falter
what ends, began

do my eyes beseech you?
how many moons has it seen?
Pity
it is not our eyes that see the moon
i'll be damned if it did

"Thank you, it's just the hairgel"
thin as it may look
"this is a mark of geniusness"
to kid myself, fear
Ahh, yes. What else is there?

rubbing my wide temples
a by-product of chemicals
Just water from now on, lots
though damaged has been done
in four years i'll be bitter
cruel is worst but I won't be younger