Still memories

I was talking to my friends in my previous work these past few days in an attempt to cure my quasi-homesickness.It's working of course. For lack of better words, it made me close to them. Let's take a moment and appreciate the advantage of technology, particularly the Internet...Okay, moving on.

I was able to solicitate some pictures from some of them where moi was in it. After eviscerating my before-and-after physique, I was able to reminisce with them. It felt good to know they miss me too. (told you this is working)

On a different note, a good friend of mine is having a quarter-life crisis. This is the guy that is so much like me, we can be twins. He's starting to question everything in connection with his own life and existence. (Who haven't been there right?) This guy is meant to go somewhere great. Always believed in him and his dreams. Sadly, the biggest thing we shared is the perennial, incessant and debilitating languor to romantic hopelessness. It cripples us to our knees but makes us king of our domain - melodrama. I wish I can stress this more now but sadly, my trail of thought has slipped away. Let's take it next time ok?

Look for you passion.If you can't find it... try to live life to the fullest until you do.

Au revoir!

meow... mellow

I got to talk with a friend of mine a few weeks back and we managed to help each other get over our melodramatic bubbles. How he helped me? He sent me this -

Have you ever encounter a situation wherein you are searching for someone? That suddenly there was a feeling of incompleteness. A simple glimpse of the person's face, smile or even attention - simply receiving a Hi or nod will suppress the emptiness in you.

I have tried to escape this person in the past and still my passion for that special someone is haunting me...Past memories languish my present state. Any thoughts of that individual battered both my mind and heart.

Is this emotion called LOVE or Infatuation? If it is Love, how come it withers me instead of inspire me? It leaves me STUNNED instead of being glee and bubbly.

Am I really emotionally immature? Do I just miss that individual? Am I just taken aback with the wonderful memories we once shared? Or because it is that person whom I desire but I am someone who already belong to someone else? Yes, I am already married. Presently fulfilled and happy with my own family. Don't get me wrong I love my family, I really do... but why it is, I am still being bothered with the idea of that person.

I do not know..I want to get everything out of my mind...but I just could not. If I could just cheat whenever my heart whispers the longing. I want to have a perfect family and I do not want to ruin it with this lunacy...but how can I trick a heart that keeps on pounding with just thoughts of this someone so special.

-unknown

It made me come back to a time when everything was simply... chaotic.An ordeal. Ahh, what a magical time. You may think I've gone cuckoo and all but that's me.

I've always believed that pathetic is my middle name to the extent it being true for a time being.Nevertheless, it was my time.Like my good pal Barry would say, We dreamers have our ways, Of facing rainy days And somehow we survive. We keep the feelings warm. Protect them from the storm Until our time arrives. Then one day the sun appears And we come shining through those lonely years.

We will smile at your faces.No hate, nor smugness.

My condolences if you do not have these random foolishness.Before it's too late, Be Mellow.

Au revoir.

Pretentions

i'll try to pretend that i've been doing this constantly.

I got a job in a small but cool internet cafe here and im here as a cafe person.(there's something redundant there isn't it?) It's a nice job plus I can get online whenever I want.I'm back to my good 'ol days of endless surfing and downloading.(my boss doesn't know that of course)

Been busy with attending customers and after they are gone, I can fire up my Limewire and it's song galore.Sometimes, I even get stumped that I ask my friends for list of songs.That's another good thing, my homesickness is a little aided with constant chat with them.Sentimentality will be my downfall.

With the part that I can download songs I want, it led me back to my hopeless romantic / melodramatic alter ego.This may sound wierd but i miss it.i really do.Without knowing, i was getting songs by matchbox 20, Barry manilow, gabrielle, MYMP and other singers who have a common theme.It tapped something in me that was sleeping for quite sometime.I mean, i still have my Love back at home but here, i have my own - sentimentality.It cures my pain of being far from the person that gives me joy and love.I know what you're thinking, "what a nut job." I tell yah, ur right but it works for me.Hurt, disappointment, hopelessness and emotional pain has been a part of me for quite some time.It defines me now even in my adult life.

I just want to say this for people that can relate to this ubsurd story, keep your pain.Keep it.We can keep holding on to love and happiness but it won't be there whenever u want.Pain can.If ever u need to reach a place that makes u feel human.Makes you feel sane and balanced.. reach out and tap it.It won't fail you.Trust me.

Sometimes pretentions are real because we make them real.

Till next time.