I had to cut short the previous blog but eventually, I'll continue it on a later time. sigh.. I'm not feeling my best emotionally today. It's funny that I can inflict this depressing on and off like a lightswitch. It's so hard to be like this. I won't even dignify all this by launching on another pathetic, self-depreciating spiel. I don't feel good when I do that.

Where do I go from here, you ask? Staying afloat, that's what. I this close to being an alchoholic. My smoking is no longer occasional nor casual to the point that I allow money to be allocated for it. My physique is slowly reaching obese-dom. I'm technically broke with all the loans I have. I have visions of being a hermit. Well, that's too far-fetched, I know. Hopefully, I'll continue to walk the road less traveled till I am hit on the head by some force that will enlighten my somewhat, loom horizon.

With that, I bid you all farewell and till next blogging. I don't blame you if you quit reading this. I don't give a crap anymore.

Be well.

Isn't there a name for like, a day where nothing seems to go right? Like a Bad Hair Day only, the whole day is the one jinxed. Well, whatever it is, I had it yesterday. Oh yeah, big whoop. It was the day to end all bad days. Details follows and I suggest you brace yourselves. heheh.

It was the 6th-month Birthday of a friend's daughter. We got invited and agreed to come. My companion, fortunately, has a car so transportation was easier and convenient. (take note of the bolded)

He is supposed to pick me up at my apartment at 10:00 AM so we can get to the 11:00 party. However, the car needs a little fixing. It needs a new tire at the front for its busted. He says he can handle it on his own so I stayed at home and waited for the agreed pick-up time. I was awakened by someone calling outside out apartment. It was him and it was 11:00. Cut to the obvious, I overslept. But he was also late for he arrived at my placed at 10:45. Less pressure on moi. We were on the road at 11:15 and took the free road, not the expressway for his plate number is not bolted on the car. He filled me in on the details about the car-fixing. He got a new tire for the damaged one.

A stop for gas then we're really on our way.

What..a...day! Phew!

It's my off today and I did all that I can do. In a mall. heheh. I left home around 11 and stepped in Robinson's at 11:35. Fortunately, I have an itenerary for the day so I know what I'm after. Some provisions here and a shirt there. But here's the cliffhanger. I went to National to grab a book I've been meaning to buy like.. forever.

The above italized blog is from yesterday. I just thought I'd still quote it. I still have remnants of yesterday's malling adventure. How do I start.. Okay, here goes. I watched Vin Diesel's "A Man Apart" Not much of my type of movie but nonetheless, it was ok. Next we took coffees (that's plural) at shop just right outside the cinemas. People are kind over there. Next, I dragged myself to buy a shirt. I succeeded. (there was a sale ;-) )

Then here comes National. I bought some literary classics. As I was on the cashier line, an attendant was on the last line. Standing behind him, he politely told me that that particular cashier line is closing. Then I joined the other line of course, only to be startled by him talking to me. "You don't remember me, do you?" Way to put someone on the spot eh? I replied that I may have forgotten. We were from the same high school and was under me in the Army training. Small world but we still got separated without remembering who he really was.

At 4:30, my scheduled amigo came and we set out for food. Burger is the verdict. Cigarettes followed.

On the way home, I striked a serious conversation with the late comer after the first one went ahead for home. He has a car built for drag racing so it's awfully fast but he took the hint for the serious talk and lowered the speed meant for city cruising and got some soothing sounds. It was like heaven for me. It made me open up easily and comfortably.

I told him my angsts and, suprisingly, he gave me profound ears. He listened to me which is what I needed. Cutting to the chase, he understood me cause he was in the same dump I am in. I saw a new light in him and I had the highlight of my week. Those 40 minutes of driving we're all I needed to rejuvenate my soul for another trek in the jungle called Life.

I've been pretty busy these past few days. Busy in terms of going out. Sleeping late. The perks of living alone and single. I have to admit that it becomes a little.. er, alarming. I fear I'm gonna lead a wanton life. And that's not me. That's not me at all. God, if you only knew what I was before. Church boy slash college paper editor slash faithful boyfriend slash - aarrhhh... The more I think of how I was compared to what I am now, the more I fear I'll get worse. The only thing that is still intact in me is this. Writing. I asked myself the proverbial question - "what happened to me?" a lot of times. Answer didn't came though.

I'll just try to understand more where this sudden transformation is taking me. It's too early to have a quarter-life crisis. Hmm.. i want to listen to Matchbox 20's "Back to Good" right now.