money matters

I've been broke too many times that I can remember but man! It's different when your away. There are no 10-peso beef mami. No 50 cent fishballs. No arrozcaldo all you want at 3 in the morning. Quail eggs. kikiams. pass-a-load! arrgh!!!

I just find consolation in knowing my family will have a nice christmas with no fuzz. Inaanaks and what not. In here, the glorious day is celebrated silently. Which is kinda cool since you won't need to dress or hide from your Godchildren. (which i don't do.) But for me that got used to having a well-celebrated, well-planned and well-felt past, I can't help but be bummed. For 4 years, I even celebrated christmas night working but it was still ok. I can still come home and see ol' faces.

I only pray I find something real and meaningful this year...

out of coverage area...

Well, sort of. I find myself suddenly without a phone, or what we refer here as "mobile". Well, I never had one of my own to begin with but at least we all have one. But one met a rather painful fate. I'd rather not tell the tale. (it was pre-meditated)

So, I need a new phone and I'm thinking of an IMate. Not even the new ones. I'll settle for an IMate SP3 or an SP5. Basta Smartphone. hehehe. I started reading E-books again and I thought it would be cool to read just using your phone. Like when you're travelling, you don't need to bring a book but you will need your phone of course. Some people use phones for Games, some people use it for Music.I use my phone TO READ.

Hey! I can dream man.

I am happy. Wanna know why? I got my pay early and I was able to make a run to the biggest bookstore here. Here's what I got:

I dunno what attracted me to this book really. It's more of a feminist book but I have to admit, it's a good read. A welcome change to the fast-paced fiction I read. It's the story of 14-year-old Lily Owens in 1964. Lily's mother died when she was young, and her dad, T. Ray, does not treat her like a real person. One day, Lily finds a possession that belonged to her mother. On the back, it says, "Tiburon, SC." Lily then escapes to Tiburon with her nanny, Rosaleen, and meets three sisters who keep bees. As Lily uncovers details about her mother, she discovers the mother that she never had.

Oh, by the way, they'll make this a movie in 2006 and guess who'll be Lily? She's an American state. She may be north, she may be south. (riddling isn't on my resume)




~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

This author knows how to touch the spiritual side of you. He's able to fuse sentimental romantism with a twist of human contexts. One reason why I am taking spanish lessons now is so I can read his original writings. I'm not sure the translation caught the whole wind of his work. Kinda like Marquez.

Eleven Minutes tells the story of Maria, a young girl from a Brazilian village, whose first innocent brushes with love leave her heart-broken. At a tender age, she becomes convinced that she will never find true love, instead believing that 'Love is a terrible thing that will make you suffer...' A chance meeting in Rio takes her to Geneva, where she dreams of finding fame and fortune yet ends up working the streets as a prostitute. In Geneva, Maria drifts further and further away from love while at the same time developing a fascination with sex. Eventually, Maria's despairing view of love is put to the test when she meets a handsome young painter. In this odyssey of self-discovery, Maria has to choose between pursuing a path of darkness, sexual pleasure for its own sake or risking everything to find her own 'inner light' and the possibility of sacred sex, sex in the context of love.


So there you go. My new journey. Oooh, I can even taste it. I also so some good ones on the stack but I have to eat too you know. Catch you later.

ahh, december

Here were are. We find ourselves again in the face of the last month. For me, December is the longest month. And usually the fuzziest. I mean, it's not like any other month

Did you know that December was actually the tenth month? I started questioning this when I was in high-school. Decem is latin for 10. But around 700 BC, Numa Pompilius, the second king of Rome, added the two months Januarius "January" and Februarius "February". He also moved the beginning of the year from Marius to Januarius and changed the number of days in several months to be odd, a lucky number. After Februarius there was occasionally an additional month of Intercalaris "intercalendar". This is the origin of the leap-year day being in February. In 46 BC, Julius Caesar reformed the Roman calendar (hence the Julian calendar) changing the number of days in many months and removing Intercalaris.

Middle English decembre
Old French decembre
Latin december "tenth month"
Latin decem "ten" + -ber (adj. suffix)
December had 30 days, until Numa when it had 29 days, until Julius when it became 31 days long.

As the Counting Crows said "A long december and there’s reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last"

The thing with December is that some people regards it as the saddest month. The pressure of yuletide makes them weak and myopic. I can't blame them. When you are on a quasi-broke state, you see all these people shopping, rushing, being merry. The "inaanaks" (Godchildren) doesn't make it easier. And of course, the infamous organization-SMP. Or is it SMC? Well, you know it. I had my share of being a member and I gotta tell yah, it's not that bad. You just have to look for an outlet to take your mind off it.

It's still a week before December starts. Make a move. Hope you find something real.

a granade in our midst

I'm still reading Gary's works and he blows me away. I won't launch into a semi-spiel of his work. No. Instead, I will serenade you with his music. Here's the lyrics of one of my favorite songs he wrote. Try to digest it for it's sooo amazingly simple. hehehe. (Been a while since I thrown oxymorons)

Kapag sinabi ko sa iyo na ika'y minamahal
Sana'y maunawaan mo na ako'y isang mortal
At di ko kayang abutin ang mga bituin at buwan
O di kaya ay sisirin perlas ng karagatan

Kapag sinabi ko sa iyo na ika'y iniibig
Sana'y maunawaan mo na ako'y taga-daigdig
Kagaya ng karamihan, karaniwang karanasan
Daladala kahit saan, pang-araw-araw na pasan

Ako'y hindi romantiko, sa iyo'y di ko matitiyak
Na pag ako'y kapiling mo kailanma'y di ka iiyak
Ang magandang hinaharap sikapin nating maabot
Ngunit kung di pa maganap, sana'y huwag mong ikalungkot

Kapag sinabi ko sa iyo na ika'y sinisinta
Sana'y yakapin mo akong bukas ang iyong mga mata
Ang kayamanan kong dala ay pandama't kamalayan
Na natutunan sa iba na nabighani sa bayan

Halina't ating pandayin isang malayang daigdig
Upang doon payabungin isang malayang pag-ibig
Kapag sinabi ko sa iyo na ika'y sinusuyo
Sana'y ibigin mo ako, kasama ang aking mundo

The beauty is in its simplicity. The honesty and the innocence.

Hat's off G.!

part time... next time.

My part time job ended yesterday. I can finally rest my tired eyes, mind and muscles. But not too long coz I'm gonna look for a new one in a few days. Hopefully I'll find one.

I'm officially broke as of 6:00 AM here. I hate to borrow money from people coz I believe it's a window for complication. I might be getting my salary in a few days and the yuletide is drawing near.

May the good Lord Bless the world and give strength and patience to those who need it. AMEN.

no longer a salot.. for now

I now fashion a straight hair. I didn't know changing your hair can affect.. well, something. Not as much as women do. It happened really fast actually. I went to my barber, a gay kapampangan, and told him I want to grow my hair longer. He said he'll just trim it so the curls won't look bad. I made a comment of saying those curls irritate me.They are so hard to tame. So he suggested he'll "relax" my hair. I heard the word before on some friends I had back in the philippines. There was even rebond, reborn and some other repeated verb.Apparently, stretch is now a thing of the past. I said I only brought enough money for a cut. That didn't work, he said I can pay him whenever. I tot about it for half a second and said, yeah.What the hell.Might as well try something new.

So now, my hair follows the wind. I can mess it up and with a few strokes, it's good as new. There's only one setback. I have to use conditioner. Not shampoo with conditioner.Conditioner alone. It goes after shampoo. My sister even suggested a leave-on version of it. So, I've decided. I'll just let december pass and I'll get a semi-bald haircut again.

But for now, i'll let my hair move with the wind.

The "other" Total Performer

Gary! Gary Granada! If the famous Gary V. can sing and dance at the same time, this guy can sing and enlighten your Philippine soul at the same time.
I've always been fascinated with the way he makes his songs.I thought he's just weird.You know, be different so you'll sell. But he was the exact opposite. He cares so much for the country and opening minds to his ideals that he struggled with making a place on our music industry. Only in college that I understood his songs as well as other bands like Buklod.

Honestly, due to scarcity of reading materials, I turned to Gary. He wrote a small booklet about Federalism. It woke my sleeping activist mind. There was also a song sang by Joey Ayala, Bayang Barrios, Noel Cabangon and Cookie Chua entitled "Sambayanan". That was the end of it.

If you have a chance to hear Gary Granada or read anything he written, I implore you to. If you can't, just please love your country. OUR country. It's the only one we got. And we are the only ones SHE have.

On the different note, I have been listening to some of his songs and I managed to rummaged a song composed by Danny Javier - Suntok sa buwan. It was sang by Ely buendia and it made me remember Bok. I'm looking for a song more innocent than this but for now, this'll do.

Sabi nila na hindi ko raw makakaya
Ang lumapit sa 'yo, mag-isang magpakilala
Sabi nila malakas daw ang aking loob
Sinuswerte daw ba akong
Mag-isip na tayong dalawa ay magmahalan

Tingnan mo ngayon, sino na nga bang nakatawa
'Pag tayo ay naglalakad, o 'di ba, tahimik na lang sila
Sa dami noon na nangligaw sa 'yong poging
Nakapilang baldeng pabling
Sino bang mag-akalang tayo ay magmamahalan, magkatuluyan

Suntok sa buwan ka lang no'ng araw, tanging irog ko
Sa ganda mo at bait ay hindi ko akalain
Puso ko'y hinagip sa dilim
Karibal ko'y hindi pinansin
Rumimate na lang sa bandang hulihan
Suntok sa buwan, panalo
Akin ka lang

Sabi nila na hindi nga raw tayo bagay
Mapapansin mo lang daw ako kung mawawalan ka ng malay
Sabi nila, kailanga'y isang himala
'Di ka raw madaan sa tiyaga
Tingnan mo kung sino na ang siyang nakatunganga, humahanga

Suntok sa buwan ka lang no'ng araw, tanging irog ko
Sa ganda mo at bait ay hindi ko akalain
Puso ko'y hinagip sa dilim
Karibal ko'y hindi pinansin
Nakahagod na lang sa bandang hulihan
Suntok sa buwan, panalo
Akin ka lang
Akin ka lang

i'm dreaming of a white...

IPod!

But seriously, I've been thinking of the forthcoming season a lot lately. It's gonna be different this time. Really different.

In my case, the hard part is not the actual day. It's the days before it. And a little on the days after. The ones before it are filled with mixed emotions brought about by pressure.Financial, emotional, physical. For normal people, this not a huge deal.But for crazy, melodramatic fools like moi, it's cranking a notch. I won't delve into the details much coz it might just make me even more depressed.

My plan is to just treat myself to something I wanted for a long time. A material one. I know its a shallow gesture but it's a consolation I conjured up. It might cushion the blow kumbaga.

Cross your fingers. Eat some Ham. Drink some beer. Call Home. Pray for an easier new year...

What's new on friendster?

A lot.

I don't often visit friendster. Even when it boomed a few years back. I was on a "Just looking around" status. And I was. I only get to open it when someone yells at me with "Hey! Why haven't you approved my invitation!?". Or, "I made you a testimonial." (the shortcut of the last word makes me iffy)

Today, you won't know what friendster looked like a year ago. It's cascading style sheets (CSS) here, and videos4u there. I think there's even something called shoutouts.

Judging from that, you can safely assume that mine isn't a tad updated. Not even a new profile or picture. Maybe if I get new good pics, then I will post some but that's about it. Gone are the days that I can do CSS on sites as well as never get left out. I'm contented with My Friendster. Good messages, good testimonials. Great FRIENDS.

part-time, full-time

I'm sooo tired today. Exhaustion comes out of my eyes. So tired that I'm not sure if I said I'm working two jobs. This is my full time job - the internet cafe. The other, 2 hours of bus and cab and 6 hours of network cablings and PC configurations. I know i needed the money but I'm starting to feel the weight. At any rate, we're almost done in a week's time. That's one reason why I wasn't able to write much.

I really wanted an Ipod. Almost as much as I wanted a laptop. My whole part time salary can buy me a 40 GB IPod photo. Or I can save it and add some of my full-time salary to buy a laptop.

My girlfriend have now decided to come here and I need to help in accomplishing this. This is good news. Not for Apple Inc. though. I'm sure they won't mind. (can you sense the tone?)

dreamus oblivus

There's a reason why I came to this uncharted territory. There's a purpose in all my working and travelling. There's a motive in dragging myself 10,000 miles away from my family and friends and be bossed-around by different nationalities. There's a point why I left my good job and settle for a mediocre one just because the exchange rate is higher here. There is a goal. An Objective. A target. An aspiration... A yearning.

There's gotta be.

life's miracle

It was 7:30 in the morning and I heard her weeping and squirming. Sometimes she does this when her stomach aches. She said she needed to call someone and borrowed my phone.Not fully awake, I handed it to her and went back to bed.Her's was adjacent to mine. She's still squeaking. I got out of bed and went near her, she was in tears. I asked what's with her.She can barely answer.She said her stomach aches so much. I thought this is serious now and a small panic went through me. She wants me to call a friend of hers and ask what time the doctor checks in.She's still in pain.I went out and knocked on of our flatmate's door.She peeked and I told her what's happening.She followed me to our room and talked to her.We've made a decision.We'll need to go to the hospital at once. I arranged all the provisions we'll need.

---------------------------------------

At the hospital, I paced back and forth outside her room, praying every prayer that was thought to me all these years.But my mantra was, "keep her safe, keep her safe, keep her safe.."

---------------------------------------

Everytime I come close to her room, I hear her shouting on top of her lungs. Shouts of agony and pain. I closed my ears and hummed, prayed, sang and talked to myself. Drown the sounds from that room. I can't help but cry. It was sympathy pain.It was brotherly love.

---------------------------------------

I was told I can see them both now.

---------------------------------------

She looks so pale. Crying. I can't understand what she wants. Was told she's hungry and I made a joke of buying her a burger downstairs. Easy room. She's all balled up and so fragile.

---------------------------------------

I have a new neice.

---------------------------------------

She looks like me. Only tiny. Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to present to you, Reema! My sister's new born baby girl...

---------------------------------------

All this happened 3 hours ago.